Seven.

Continuing the last post.

100 Good Reasons to Kill Myself Right Now (51 - 75)
By:  Roland Topor

51) So I won't be ashamed to look in the mirror anymore.

52) What if I'm immortal? Might as well find out as soon as possible.

53) One less mouth to feed.

54) To prove to EVERYONE that I'm no coward.

55) To count how many people cry at my funeral.

56) To see, from the other side, if I've made it over.

57) Instead of tearing my gray hairs out one by one, might as well tear my head off all at once.

58) With a revolver: to be noisy after 10pm.

59) With gas: to savor the charms of that last cigarette.

60) By hanging: to turn an ordinary rope into a delightful good luck charm.

61) Under a train: to extend other people's vacations.

62) With barbiturates: think I’ll sleep in tomorrow morning.

63) By electrocution: to shake things up a little.

64) By defenestration: to escape my fear of elevators.

65) I've heard death is an easy lay. I'm gonna have me some good times.

66) If I put my subscriptions on hold, I won’t miss a thing.

67) To be good with (tiny) animals.

68) To die the same year as Elvis.

69) To skip out on taxes.

70) To skip out on rent.

71) To stop snoring.

72) To come back in the wee hours and tug on my enemies' feet.

73) To keep from ripping myself off as I get older, like de Chirico.

74) Because I'm an endangered species and no one is protecting me.

75) Because I've prepared a choice phrase for the final moment, and if I wait too long I'll forget it.


Again stolen from A Journey Round My Skull